How To Master Self-Care And Money During Stressful Times

Self-Care and financial health are two essential qualities of life that many of us flat out neglect! On the surface, you may think that self-care is all about mani-pedis, massages, and fancy vacations. But real self-care isn’t about any of that. Instead, it’s about well-being. 

But not only physical and mental well-being but also financial. And as the global pandemic has proven, you can’t take anything for granted! Especially when it comes to your health, your time, and your money. 

In part five of my Empowering Women Series, I had a fascinating chat with Mia Bradford a financial planner and self-care advocate. She discusses how her lack of self-care caused her to battle burnout, illness, pain, and money struggles. But when things spiral out of control, she explains that good self-care and money management become more critical than ever.

Related Post – Part One: The Best How To Budget Advice From A Self-Made Millionaire.

Related Post – Part Two: How To Overcome A Crisis And Still Achieve Financial Independence.

Related Post – Part Three: How To Conquer Money Challenges and Improve Your Finances Now.

Related Post – Part Four: How This Mom Slayed $1 Million Of Debt In Under 3 Years.

Related Post – Part Five: How To Master Self-Care And Money During Stressful Times.

Related Post – Part Six: How To Navigate Money, Retirement, And Entrepreneurship, The Smart Way!

Related Post – Part Seven: How To Strengthen Your Marriage, Money, And Mental Health.

Related Post – Part Eight: How To Achieve Better Nutrition, Health, And Finances

The transcript below has been mildly edited for clarity and readability. But, if you’d like to hear the entire information-packed interview be sure to check out the video.

Related Posts: How To Survive The Coronavirus Outbreak Without Going Broke.

Can you tell me about your background with money?

Absolutely! So, thank you first of all for having me on. My name is Mia Bradford. I am the proud founder of Beyond the Busyness. And how I got started with money is that my dad basically told us:

 You’ve got to have a job and a Hustle.

So, that was the mindset that I always had growing up. 

And I started my first business at seven. I started investing in the stock market at sixteen. And I majored in economics in undergrad. 

I was offered a job as an auditor. But really, in my heart, I wanted to help people. And I was like, I think I’ll be a better financial planner.

I had two interviews with two top companies for financial planning positions. And basically, there was a quota. You had to bring in $10 million worth of business. 

Well, I was twenty-two from Inglewood, California, which is historically an African-American and Mexican area. And I didn’t know people with that kind of money. 

So, instead of following my [childhood] dream to be a businesswoman carrying a briefcase, I became a school counselor. Because my thing is that I want to help people through education. 

Plus, I didn’t feel like I could educate people on personal finances by going the corporate route. I have a master’s degree in School Counseling. And I also studied Spanish linguistics.

Since my neighborhood was black and brown, it came in handy when I became a College advisor. I was able to communicate with families about financial aid, interest rates, understanding and paying back loans. 

I love talking about and educating about money. And because I speak Spanish, I was able to help my Spanish families understand too. So, everything kind of all came together for me in that way.

DeShena: Where I grew up, we never had those sorts of conversations about money either at home or at school.  We were only taught that you needed to go to college and get a degree, BUT, not about what to do with the money after you have it.  And being able to communicate in two languages about money is very admirable.

Have you had any money struggles?

Oh, yes! And it’s interesting to say now, because…

 I knew better — but I didn’t do better! 

You know, I know how money works. My parents did not have credit cards when I was growing up, they used cash. But money was never a topic that was on the table to be discussed. 

Here’s the thing that black parents need to understand. Kids are curious. Kids need to know why! 

Let’s just say you had parents who were good with money. 

But, I didn’t understand why I shouldn’t go into credit card debt. 

And I didn’t understand why I should use cash. 

So, because I didn’t understand why they were doing what they were doing, the first thing I did… 

When I went to undergrad walking around campus, everyone’s like, here’s a free t-shirt. Or, here’s a free water bottle. Or, you know, sign up for this credit card. 

And my parents were very frugal. I would say that I grew up privileged because I always had my needs met.

But “wants” were not on the table. I mean, maybe sometimes. But I heard “no” a lot. 

And I was tired of hearing “no.”

So, I decided, let me just get this credit card, and I’m going to get what I want to get! 

Well, I have been in and out of debt three or four times. So I would rack up all this debt. Then, I would think — I’m going to make the money, and I’m going to pay it off. But that’s not a good mindset to have in my opinion. 

[#1] If you are going to use credit cards, you need to pay them off in full every month. 

So, by the time I became a professional, I had maybe $80,000 worth of [student loan and credit card] debt. 

My parents always taught me that you’ve got to have money! So I’m like…

 I can’t do this check to check thing. 

It’s not in my DNA. So I got to get my mind right. And, just because you can afford a monthly payment doesn’t mean you can afford that item. 

So anyway, I did pay off $25,000 of credit card debt in 18 months. I just got really focused. And I knew better, so I did better.

DeShena: Similar story here. Living paycheck-to-paycheck. In and out of debt. Mostly in, lol. But I always felt like everyone else was doing better than me. And I wondered why am I always struggling? But it took years before I realized that everybody is struggling! Because as you can see, 80% of Americans are living paycheck-to-paycheck. But, I didn’t know that at the time. And just trying to keep up with what everybody else was doing — yeah, it wasn’t working for me!

So was there any particular Catalyst or “Aha” moment that made you say this is it, I’m done? 

Yeah, definitely! I remember it very distinctly. 

I was in my apartment in Brooklyn, and a bill came. And I was like, I am so tired of living check to check! And I’m so tired of not having enough!

And you know as a Christian I believe in having an abundance mentality. There is more than enough. Everybody can eat! Because this is an abundant society, right?

And this is not the life that I know God wants me to have. I know better. And I need to practice better financial principles. Especially because I wanted to be a financial planning professional. 

You know how there are people in the medical field that are not the healthiest people? They smoke. They eat poorly. 

So, just because people are financial planners doesn’t mean that they’re doing the right thing. And so, I need to have integrity with myself. 

And I remember that I was so angry that I opened the door to my bedroom and it hit the closet door and made a hole in the door. That stood out a lot to me. 

Because I should never be so angry about money that I’m destroying property. 

So, that was my turning point. [#2] And I went to [debt management] classes. Because for me, I need accountability. 

So, I sent an email to all my girlfriends, and I was like, hey, I need to get out of debt! 

I’m not going to all these parties. And I’m not going to do all these things. Because this is not helping to be the best person that I can be. 

But you know what? I never missed a beat! People started offering to pay for me to go. And my friends took care of me in those 18 months.

DeShena: I like that. You needed that accountability. And you had to put people on notice.

Have you faced any significant challenges on your journey?

Absolutely! I would say that staying out of debt is a challenge! 

You know, I actually have more debt now that I live in Texas then I did in New York!

Because I have a car payment and a house payment. I’m like, oh my gosh, I can’t do this! 

So right now I’m actually on a journey to even eliminate student loans, car payment, and then eventually pay off my mortgage early. 

Because I don’t want any debt! It’s just like, for lack of a better term, having a weight on my neck. 

So, what I do is:

[#3] I look at my finances weekly. 

[#4] Monitor and pay off balances every time I get a check. 

[#5] Any extra money goes towards debt. 

Also, I’m taking this year off from traveling, which traveling is my joy. 

But guess what? 

You just have to sacrifice. A friend of mine said something like…

 Short-term sacrifice equals long-term happiness.

DeShena. I think that’s a big obstacle for a lot of people because they don’t want to give up anything! And like you said, sometimes it’s just short term. And once you start creating more cash flow, getting focused, and being intentional, you can plan for those things. I never felt like I was missing out on anything because my mindset shifted. So it’s like, my values changed. And once I got intentional, I was able to still have whatever I wanted. But also, I think that the things that I wanted changed, and that is what happened. 

Related Post: How To Get Out Of Debt For Moms Who Feel Stuck.

I know that self-care is important to you. Can you tell me about that? 

Absolutely! So, I was that person in New York City that was everywhere all the time, right! And I’m an introvert, so that doesn’t even make sense. 

But, because I’m an introvert, I would burn myself out very easily. I was always trying to keep up with this person and keep up with that person and not recharging. 

So, therefore, I faced a lot of physical ailments. I’ll just start at the top. 

• Headaches
• Sinus allergies
• Asthma
• A pinched nerve on the right side of my body.
• Patella femoral syndrome in my left knee. 
• A cracked bone in my foot. 

You name it. I dealt with it!

So right now, I’m at the healthiest that I’ve ever been. I’m an aerial yoga instructor, which I really enjoy doing. So, self-care for me is a daily practice now. 

Before self-care, I would literally get sick, and that would cause me to slow down. 

But now I realize that for me to show up for myself or for anyone, I have what I call my success fuel. 

And for me, that is [#6] sleep and space. 

And so everyone has a different success fuel. For some of my guy friends, their success fuel is to work out every day in order to feel productive. 

For me:

• I need a lot of sleep. 
• I need naps! 
• I need seven to eight hours a night. 
• And, I need space in my schedule. 

So what I mean by space is that, if I’m doing something from 1 p.m. to 2 PM, then I’m not doing anything from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. Like, I just need to reset and recharge. 

Every Sunday, I try to take 4 hours in the afternoon where I disconnect. 

And I’m not on the phone. I’m just doing whatever I want to do, without people. As an introvert, I need that time!

Now you might be an extrovert, so you might need time with people to recharge. So, you have to determine. For me, self-care is emotional. 

So what do you need for your emotional well-being? 

[#7] I use aromatherapy for that.

Physically, I do aerial yoga. And then financially…

We all know that if your money is not right, your mind is not right! 

So it’s cyclical to me. It’s a holistic process. [#3 again] And I check on my money every week. Maybe even more than once a week, depending on what’s going on. 

But I’m looking at my account. And my retirement accounts, are they growing? Do I need to reallocate? 

Some people don’t even know what I’m talking about. But you gotta understand that kind of stuff. 

I’m making sure I don’t overdraft. You know, people are swiping their debit card, but you gotta make sure you’re not over-drafting. 

[#8] Also, I’m recording my expenses. It’s important for you to know how much money you spend on a regular basis. Because sometimes you think, I’m just spending $10 a week on Starbucks. But really, you’re spending $25. You really need to have an idea so that you can course-correct and plan accordingly.

DeShena: Absolutely! Tracking is so important. I realized that one thing that was holding me back and the people that I’ve talked to, and it was just not tracking. People just don’t even know what’s coming in and what’s going out. Then, you can’t plug those spending leaks. So that’s why so many people can’t seem to make their ends meet because they really have no clue about their cash flow.

And I’m still trying to figure out why people don’t track? Does it just seem like too much effort? Or is it that we don’t know that we should be doing that?

Mia: I think it does take effort. And I think it’s also the discipline. It’s hard for people to practice discipline. Like the people who want to lose weight but they don’t work out because it’s like. I’m tired. 

But what I think is you have to determine how important this goal is to you? Is the end result worth the process? And you’ve got to enjoy yourself on the journey. 

So yes, it’s annoying when every time I’m at the gas pump, as soon as the gas has finished pumping I record the amount. And yes, it takes an extra 30 seconds out of your time. 

But, at least I have a realistic idea of how much money I spend on gas every month. Instead of just saying okay, I’m going to allocate $200 a month on gas, but I only need $160. 

Then, I can do something else with that $40. But I only know that because I track it. And then, I can take the quarterly, monthly, or yearly average and actually allocate properly. 

Also, you gotta want it! 

Is it more important for you not to be inconvenienced than it is to have Financial Independence? 

You have to choose.

DeShena: That is so true! And that was the mindset shift for me. I decided that I wanted to start keeping my own money. You know it’s [almost as if we’re programmed] to start figuring out how to get rid of our money before we even get it. 

Even during a job interview, I would already be thinking, okay when I get this job — NOW I can buy that car! Or, NOW we can move over here. Or, I can get whatever it is that I’ve been wanting. Or, when I get a raise, it’s like now I’m going to go buy that washing machine. Or, ooo I wanted that handbag. 

But I started looking at it differently like, okay, how can I keep my money? What can I do to hang on to it? So now, when I get a raise, I look at it like that means now I can add that to my investments. Or, I can add that to my emergency fund. I started re-shifting the way I thought about what I need to be doing with my money. It became about what can I do less of so that I don’t spend it. Or what can l do more of so that I can keep it?

So what can people do to take care of themselves?

That’s a great question! So there are a ton of things that you can do for free! 

Actually, my favorite self-care that I mentioned, sleep and space, don’t cost anything! 

So here’s what I would recommend. 

First off, [#9] you have to experiment with some things and figure out what works for you. 

So, there’s [#10] meditation that you can do. And meditation is literally just being still, connecting, and being present. Especially if you can do it outside. 

For example, where I am right now, there are a lot of beautiful trees, flowers, butterflies, and all kinds of beautiful things. 

So just focus on the beautiful butterfly, or look at the pretty flower. 

You’re intentionally paying attention to what’s in front of you at the moment. That doesn’t cost any money! And it’s showing gratitude and appreciation for that which is around you. 

Also, [#11] journaling is another form of self-care. So if you have a lot of things going on internally, you know anger, anxiety or happiness and joy, write about it. I hate journaling personally. I’m not a writer, I’m a numbers girl. So, if I am going to write, I’m probably going to bullet point. 

[#12] Taking walks and getting into nature is really good. I know everyone is social quarantining right now. But there are so many people out here taking a walk right now. 

Just keep six feet away from other people. You can go outside. Put your N95 mask on if that’s what you need to do. And go take a walk. Get some natural vitamin D and sunlight. That is a great way for self-care. 

[#13] Talk to people who love you and who you love. Not the people who drain you! This is not the time to talk to them. 

Sometimes, I have to hit decline. 

Sometimes I cannot talk to that person because my mind is not right, and I don’t have the energy for what they’re about to bring. 

So understanding that when you’re not in the mindset, they can keep calling — but guess what? You pay that phone bill. You don’t have to answer the phone!

[#14] Reading. I read a lot of books. Also, sometimes for me, because my mind is constantly going and thinking, I need to stop my mind. 

So sometimes [#15] I watch a movie or documentary so I can just focus on that and not focus on all the things that are happening in my head. 

And then, also just do some [#16] yoga. So, I am posting free yoga classes on my Facebook page @BeyondTheBusyness.

You can go check them out over there. 

And because you’re concentrating on the pose, you’re technically meditating AND exercising! 

So, you’re knocking out two birds with one stone. And you’re getting your mind off of whatever it is you were thinking about.

DeShena: Oh, wow! Those are a lot of free things that you can do. And, they can also help to relieve stress and tension. And staying away from toxic people, people that bring down your mood, or change it to something negative, I love that! You do have to mentally prepare yourself to deal with certain people at certain times, LOL!

So are there any self-care tools or resources that you recommend?

Yes, there are tons of free meditation apps so you can just search for one that works for you. 

I personally like Encounter because it’s biblically based. And it talks you through scriptures, there’s prayer time, and for 20 minutes every morning, I do it. I love it! 

There are other apps that people use in the App Store, or you can Google them. Again, for free yoga classes, you can go to Republic aerial yoga or Crystal yoga studios. 

You can also just Google journaling prompts if you want more of a structured way to journal. And if you don’t have a journal use the notes section on your phone. Or use Microsoft Word on your computer.

And generally, on your cell phone, you have some type of Health tracking app. So, you can actually track your steps if you want to. I know on my phone there’s this app that tracks my steps throughout the day. 

What money tips do you have for people struggling with their finances?

There’s a lot to say about that because I’ve done a little bit of research on the psychology behind money. And the thing is to really think about the root of why you spend on what you spend. 

So, for example. For myself, I know that I got into a lot of debt because I heard a lot of “no” growing up for things that I wanted. And I was like, well, I’m an adult now so I can get whatever I want.

Yes, I can! But that doesn’t mean that I should! 

So think about at the core. Why are you spending? Are you trying to fill a void and things like that?

[#17] Get accountability. If you are not the most disciplined person in the world, then find somebody who can hold you accountable to your goals. And know that the process or the journey may not be the most pleasant. 

[#18] You may have to give up stuff and sacrifice. But, think about the end result. Like for the people who run marathons. Yeah, it’s hard to run 26 or 32 miles, or however long it is. I have friends that run marathons, you know. That ain’t my Ministry! But, I will fly in the air on an aerial yoga rig. 

Related Post: How To Save Money By Right-sizing Your Life.

[#19] But, figure out what is the end goal? And how can you celebrate reaching the end? That’s what I would definitely say when you get to that point.

[#20] Also, enjoy the process along the way. 

So I think those would be my main tips if you’re struggling with money. And then, [#21] if you need help reach out. You can reach out to myself or to a financial professional that wants to educate you. 

Because you want somebody that’s going to explain to you what your money is doing. [#22] And don’t be scared of numbers! 

Finance is really just multiplying, dividing, adding, and subtracting. 

And you can do that! 

You have to understand it’s not a formula. It is literally plus, minus, add, subtract. Unless you get into the more investment stuff. But the basics — you can do that.

Where can people find you?

You can find me on beyondthebusyness.com. And right now, I’m actually doing a lot of “Lives” on helping people understand essential oils and how to use them to boost your immunity. 

I’m also offering free financial Discovery calls. So if you are ready to set up your financial foundation, you can book one there. And I’m really just happy to talk to anybody who wants to be educated around aromatherapy or around finances. 

Aerial yoga will come back when we come out of quarantine because you do need equipment. But I’ll post some free lessons as well on my Instagram page. I’m on Instagram and Facebook as well, under @BeyondTheBusyness.

Thank you for so many great tips, Mia!

Mia Bradford is the Founder and Self-care Coach for Beyond the Busyness. She helps high achieving women go from busy to balanced by implementing simple self-care strategies for financial and holistic well-being.  She empowers women to give themselves permission to release the guilt from taking time for themselves through virtual and online events focused on building a strong financial foundation, aromatherapy/yoga, and alternative methods of health and wellness. She is an aerial yoga instructor, licensed financial professional, and a travel junkie. She has a BA from UCLA in Economics and a Masters in School Counseling from NYU.